→ Sacred Oath
For those who have known me for decades know that I have taken the commitment of helping mankind to progress.
Since my nervous breakdown in university back in the 1990s I have been taking lifetime medicines to stay stable.
Life has been an adventure, from severe depression and anxiety crises to moments of high happiness.
Without the nervous breakdown I would never have met Professor Carvalho Rodrigues.
There are periods of my life that are a blank. I have memories of a place with cement floor, but I don't know if it real or a dream.
From the 1980s, back in the old ZX Spectrum days, I have known persons who changed my life:
— In 1987 Luís Ferreira with whom I swapped games and died shortly after, then António Fernandes and Nuno Leitão;
— In the 1980s my two best friends: Jorge Canelhas and Carlos César;
— In university my computer science teacher, MOB, who said I was his best student ever;
— In the 1990s and 2000s: Bryon Smith, Glenn Steckling and Jaban David.
I have accomplished feats that I never thought possible, from being the first civilian to finish the "Information Warfare" military masters with honour, to an ongoing research PhD whose project took me around 6 years to develop from scratch.
Some people often described me as being a mix of a genius and a madman.
It has been quite a journey… but life leads nowhere, I could take all the courses in the world, but I will never fit into society. I will never be able to have a regular life and I will always work in part-time. Like I once said: "Work is a necessary evil" and I just have a job because I need money.
Like my friend Stephen told me on 28.Aug.2016: we must think of work as a place to get money at the end of the month. One goes to work, does his job the best he can, goes home and the day starts! After work, it is the time to live and create professional things.
My parents often say that I am a useless and lazy person who only thinks about sleeping, eating and computing.
I do what I do but the projects are my everything and decades ago I began using my free time and even pay from my own pocket to get the projects going. I am a computer geek and I don't care about politics nor war.
If governments, instead of spending money in military programmes and weaponry, would apply it to spacial technology, we could have spaceships just like in Star Trek. Wars are wrong, and all mankind should live in everlasting peace and harmony.
I have spent most of my life angry at God, looking for the answers and my role in this local Universe to grow as a human being.
In one of my depressive crises around mid-2017 I had to take an important decision: to live or die. I told some close friends that on that Friday I would decide.
After a whole day in my bedroom meditating about such decision, I reached three conclusions:
1) If I was gone, no one more capable would replace me in the projects;
2) It is risky to replace the known with the unknown;
3) My friends would suffer a lot since they care about me.
So, the projects are still ongoing, and I took the right decision.
In a matter of two years or so, my knowledge and problem-solving capabilities improved a lot and I have started doing things and reasoning very quickly. My knowledge has been increasing to a scary level.
My late (2005) cousin Ed Sant'Ana who was a composer, guitar player, singer and producer, believed in and said: "Music has various forms but only one touches us, the one that comes from the soul with the purpose to cure suffering, loneliness and sadness. That gift is given only to certain persons who have the compromise to spread it as prophets messengers of Peace and Love… and so, it also happens with the one who isn't a musician but who has the gift to pacify, spread tranquillity, love and truth".
When my time to leave this world comes, I want to be cremated and the music to be played at my funeral:
One mustn't do things expecting earthly or heavenly rewards but do it because it is the right thing to do.
This "Sacred Oath" taken decades ago is that as long as I live, I will help mankind to progress, which is the purpose of life according to Professor MOB.
This is all that matters.
Last update: 1.Jan.2019